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Fortune Cookies

Yesterday, I ate a whole box of fortune cookies – just because I could. Probably because of stress.
I love fortune cookies, they are crunchy with a touch of sweet. And it’s fun to play around with the fortune.

Around here, you are supposed to add the phrase “between the sheets” at the end. Me, being the sheltered gal I am, didn’t hear about this tradition until my McCoy collecting buddy enlightened me back in the late 90’s. It does make it more fun. I presume different areas of the country add different phrases. Why don’t you tell me yours?

Here’s the list of my fortunes, in no particular order:

You will live a long, prosperous life [between the sheets]. Back in the 70’s, I remember reading a short story about a couple of lovers who discovered that time stopped when they touched. At first, it was all hot and bother, but after time went by, they grew tired of having sex with each other and love turned to hate. They didn’t want to give up the idea of eternal life, and ended up just touching butts lying in bed. I guess it must have impressed me if I still remember it today. Wish I could recall who wrote it, I believe it was a famous sci-fi author.

You will have full contentment by summers end [between the sheets]. I wish.

Fame and fortune lie ahead [between the sheets]. I think I’m too old to be a porn star. I’d rather watch. Hey, have you heard how to pick your ‘porn star name’? You take the name of your first pet and the street where you lived as a kid. Mine is Aurora Ferrier. Cool, huh?

Children will play an important role in your life [between the sheets]. Eww, now that’s just wrong!

Treat a friend to flowers [between the sheets]. I just did this yesterday – before the fortune! Well, not between the sheets! I missed her birthday and when I went to her house to deliver her taxes, I took a bouquet of carnations. She fed me dinner. It was a good trade!

Soon you will be sitting on top of the world [between the sheets]. No thanks, I don’t really care for that position!

You have an active mind and a keen imagination [between the sheets]. I always thought so! ;)

You will find hidden treasures where least expected [between the sheets]. Does that mean I will find that sock I lost the other night?

Find the road to happiness by helping others [between the sheets]. Yeah, I recall sometimes a helping hand was just the thing! Hahaha.

Your mentality is practical and alert [between the sheets]. Now, this makes me sound like Prowl. I’d say maybe more passionate and attentive.

Business and health matters will improve around you [between the sheets]. Um, I can’t think of a smart-aft remark for this one.

A friend will be important to you and your forthcoming success [between the sheets]. Hmm. Now, I can take this 2 ways. I think someone should give me some love life advice.

For success today, look first to yourself [between the sheets]. Bwahaha! Yes, I’m a dirty little girl. And you wonder why my glasses are so thick!

Be innovative, take charge of new ideas [between the sheets]. Naw, I like the tried and true traditional stuff. It would be nice if I could remember what they were….


On a more serious note, my sis and I are taking mom to the hospital tomorrow for a D&C. Hopefully it isn’t anything too bad, but I gotta remember ma is 89yo. It is going to be a long day for everyone. We must leave the house by 6am. My nook is loaded with fanfic to tide me over and my bag is packed with snacks. I think I’m set.
I have to get to bed now, as I need to be up at 5am. Hrrgh.



( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 8th, 2011 03:16 am (UTC)
round these parts, you add "in bed" to the end of your fortune cookie, which pretty much has the same results as "between the sheets". ~_^

i hope everything goes well with your mom tomorrow. *hugs for all of you*

Mar. 9th, 2011 02:20 am (UTC)
I think I've heard about the 'in bed' version.

thanks, appreciate it. All was good.
Mar. 8th, 2011 07:22 am (UTC)
will be thinking of you and your mom tomorrow, and those fortunes (with additions and commentary) were hilarious. My favorite was the one about looking first to yourself ;)
Mar. 9th, 2011 02:21 am (UTC)

I made myself laugh with that one!
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 9th, 2011 02:22 am (UTC)
haha - I try to post amusing stuff. Glad you liked it.

thanks, it worked.
Mar. 8th, 2011 11:28 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you've been stressed. :(

Best wishes for your mom! *big hugs*
Mar. 9th, 2011 02:24 am (UTC)
It's just this time of year combined with mom stuff. things will improve.
Thanks, and hugs back at 'cha.
Mar. 9th, 2011 04:18 am (UTC)
My porn name would be Snoopy Wood. :-P I love yours!

Your commentary on the fortunes was funnier than the fortunes themselves! :-D
Mar. 9th, 2011 01:46 pm (UTC)
Ha - I love that icon! Very appropriate for the post!
Hmm, that sounds more like a guy's name. Wood makes me think penis.

thanks, I try!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )



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