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Writer's Block: Talk like a pirate day!

Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day by scribblin’ ye finest buccaneer-them’d joke in today’s Writer’s Block, arrr, Scrawl. Top jokes win me booty. [Contest Details]

Here's me joke mateys, to make ye choke! Arrr.

So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush. At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"





Cover me in barnacles 'nd toss me to the albatross! How I be fergettin' 't remind all me LJ mateys 'bout talkin' like a pirate! Do yer bestest to drive landlubbers crezy in the head today.
I be off to drink me mornin' grog. Arrr!

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